The Belly Flop Competition: Keys to Victory!

Royal Caribbean is one of the world’s most popular cruise lines and there’s something special for everyone to enjoy while on board.  Passengers can go ice skating, scale the rock climbing wall, go roller skating, enjoy some quiet time in the Solarium, and even attend the “Love & Marriage Game Show”.  There’s one activity on board that rises (or flops) above the rest: the “Men’s International Belly Flop Competition”.

Mark these words-coming out the champion in this contest is no easy feat.  It takes great preparation, sacrifice, and a care-free mentality. There are avid Royal Caribbean cruisers out there who often look forward to this event. What does it take to make it to the top three?  Here are the keys to winning from a hopeful champion!

 5) Pork fat endurance

Each morning of the cruise, guests should eat nowhere else but in the Windjammer.  At the Windjammer, it’s paramount to load up on all of the essentials.  Guests must load up their plates with bacon, sausage, and French Toast, and pancakes.  Along with the carbohydrates and pork products, guests must load up on fruit.  One can never have enough Vitamin C in his system.  Lastly, all of the yummy food must be chased down with orange juice or coffee.  When done cleaning off the plate, guests are encouraged to go back to the buffet for a reload.  After scarfing down second load, guests should wash it all down with unsweetened iced tea. Guests should repeat this process every morning until the day of competition.

4) Practice, practice, practice!

In between Royal Caribbean cruises, slacking off is discouraged.  Endless practice is vital to making it to bronze, silver, or gold medal status.  Avid contestants have to be serious about participating in this prestigious competition.  Who has an in-ground swimming pool their your house?  Use it!  Cruisers should do at least half a dozen jumps per day.  If the life guards at the town pool or boy/girls club don’t mind, it is ok to practice there.  As long as they’re told what’s going on, it’s all good.  It’s best to tell them it’s a top priority.

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3) Take the stairs!

While on board ship, it’s vital to be in some form of good shape. This is of no contradiction to #5.  While sailing, it’s vital that guests do not use the elevator when going upstairs to any of the upper decks.  Whether you’re going to breakfast at the Windjammer, the pool deck, or the media center, guests must keep those calves well-toned.  In the belly flop competition, making a high jump is part of the process.  The legs are a contestant’s rocket boosters.  The higher the jump, the harder the landing.  All guests are reminded that the contestants’ jumps are judged according to the following criteria: style, grace, and self-inflicted pain.

2) It’s all about the buffet!

Contestants must not get this confused with #5.  At lunch time, contestants must load up on anything that will put a few concrete pounds on the abdominal region.  Contestants must focus on the hot dogs, french fries, tortilla chips, peel-and-eat shrimp, roasted ham, and anything that will truly help stick your landing.  After scarfing down the hot dogs, the french fries, etc., some cookies and desserts are the perfect way to top it all off.  Finally, contestants should wash it all down with a few specialty drinks.  The most highly recommended specialty drinks are the Fuzzy Navel and Mai Tai.

1) Whatever Richard Simmons says, do the opposite! (Self-Explanatory)

To all potential belly-floppers: It’s paramount to forget what that clown with the curly hairdo and funny shorts said.  The belly flop competition is “the” moment to shine.  All cruisers must remember to avoid the ship’s gym at all costs, give into temptation when a chocolate cake is in sight, and load up on the carbohydrates like never before.  Many men of all sizes and shapes have bravely stepped up onto the famous “Hurt Box” and have shown the ladies what their abdominal regions are made of.  Who out there has what it takes?  Who believes that they belong to this band of dauntless legends? Cruising is more than taking a week off from the stresses of the real world. It’s the crowning opportunity to make the family and ladies proud.

–David Kriso

Have you ever participated in the belly flop competition? Let us know in the comments below!