Happy New Year!… Happy New Year!… Happy New Year!
I will set sail into the New Year with the best intentions.
As we cruise into 2015, I find myself with a boatload of resolutions that are sure to make me a more pleasant shipmate … if I can keep them:
- I will not laugh at the karaoke singers unless I’m willing to give it a go myself (and there’s not enough booze in the world to make that happen).
- I will be more tolerant of children (except for that spoiled little monster who slapped — SLAPPED! — my hand away from the sprinkles at the ice-cream bar so she could get to them first).
- I will offer my email address and phone number only to those I really want to keep in touch with … and that sure doesn’t mean the guy who, when he discovered I work for a book publisher, chased me around the ship trying to convince me that his life story would make a best-selling biography.
- I will read the daily program for its content and not the typographical errors that appeal to my warped sense of humor.
- I will try — very hard — to feign interest in my tablemate’s Hummel collection.
- I will not extract every cashew from each dish of mixed nuts offered at the cruise ship bar before dinner.
- Under no circumstances will I swipe a book from the ship’s library (unless it’s an obscure title by one of my absolute favorite authors and it’s out of print and/or unavailable in the United States).
- When sailing aboard a ship that offers guest launderettes, I will not post an “Out of Service” sign on the door so I’m not interrupted while doing my wash the day before disembarkation.
- In the dining room, I will order in a timely manner and will not act as though the meal is the last one I’ll ever have. “But I love Chilean sea bass, too!”
- I will work at perfecting my cruise photography and acknowledge that a photo of the most extraordinary scene loses something when my handbag appears dumped on the deck in the foreground.
- I will not aggressively thrust my hip against that casino coin-pusher game that shifts quarters back and forth even when there’s a pile of them just waiting to spill over the edge.
- I will not take the chocolate from my husband’s pillow while he’s in the bathroom getting ready for bed.
From one cruiser to another, we should all try to work on these promises, don’t you agree? Here’s to smooth sailing into the year ahead!
— Judi Cuervo