CRUISE COUNSELOR

Anchors Away
Choose a cruise to come out of the closet.

By Janet Groene

You have a coming-out announcement to make and an upcoming family cruise seems a good place to get things out in the open. Or is it?

"To a certain extent, a cruise could be the ideal opportunity," says Steven Petrow, author of The Essential Book of Gay Manners & Etiquette. "You'll find time to talk, take a break — whether for a couple of hours or a day or two — and then revisit and talk more."

So how do you take that first step out of closet and onto a cruise deck? It’s not as difficult as you may have imagined. Here are just a few tips you may want to consider:

• Prioritize. What do you hope to accomplish by coming out? Is it your goal to acknowledge your sexuality? To educate without taking a position? To defend a position? To become an advocate or an activist? Set a goal and stick to it, advises Matt Kailey, a speaker and author on gender, transgender, and sexuality issues. Introduce your partner to your family and friends but postpone other issues for a subsequent discussion.
• Practice. Jonathan Alpert, a Manhattan psychotherapist whose column "No More Drama" appears in major newspapers, suggests rehearsing a speech that goes something like this: "I need to talk to you about something that’s very important to me."
• Keep it private. Most cruise ships offer a wealth of nooks and cozy gathering spots. "Then," says Petrow, "you can have a comfortable conversation without any distractions."