JOIN THE CLUB

Cruises with Cougars and Cubs — Oh, My!

Age is just a number to these oceangoing older women and younger men.

By Clark Norton

In the swinging '60s, middle-aged Anne Bancroft scandalized moviegoers by seducing a young Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate. More recently, trendy Hollywood stars such as Demi Moore, Mariah Carey, and Madonna have taken to romancing younger hunks like Ashton Kutcher, Nick Cannon, and Alex Rodriguez; TV shows like Cougar Town (starring 40-something Courteney Cox) and The Cougar (a Bachelor-like reality show) have celebrated the concept; and, despite the term's predatory implication, a Newsweek feature even declared 2009 the "Year of the Cougar." These days, everyday cougars are prowling the decks of cruise ships hoping to cuddle up with a cub.

No one was more surprised by the recent "cougar" phenomenon than the man who touts himself as "America's foremost authority on dating." "I never thought I'd see this day," admits San Francisco Bay Area author and singles advocate Rich Gosse, who has written eight books on dating and heads up the Society of Single Professionals, which claims to be the world’s largest nonprofit singles organization. "In just the last year cougars have completely revolutionized dating. There used to be no action for middle-aged women, and now they’re the toast of the town."

Gosse says that while cougars have always been around, "they were in the closet, too embarrassed to admit it. And that goes double for the men who love them. Their buddies thought they were desperate." Gosse adds that "15 years ago, we gave what we called ‘younger men/older women’ parties and nobody cared."

But that was before Canadian author Valerie Gibson popularized the term "cougar" in her 2001 book Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men. "Cougar" is said to have originated in a Vancouver bar frequented by hockey players and their older women fans.

And no media-savvy guy like Gosse — who once ran for governor of California to publicize singles issues — would let the cougar craze simply pass him by. So last year he launched the first-ever International Cougar Cruise, in which cougars (women, typically over age 40, who favor younger men) and "cubs" (the younger men who covet them in return) could take to the high seas, socialize together, and perhaps generate that special spark.